Grad highlights: Addy and Joseph J. (JJ)

Addy and JJ both completed the program and graduated high school in January. Below are excerpts from their speeches they shared at graduation.

Addy:

When I first came to the Ranch, I felt resistant to do anything that had to do with the Lord. I went through the motions, said all the stuff I needed to say, and did everything I was supposed to do. I thought I was only here to graduate. I didn’t care about the person I would become and didn’t feel like I needed to work on myself.

It wasn’t until I went to the Lauren Daigle concert that I fully understood why I was here. Yes, I was here to graduate high school, but I was also here to deal with all my hurt and pain. Most importantly, I was here to build my relationship with the Lord. I was here to receive healing that only He could give me.

Giving my life to the Lord has been the best and most rewarding decision I have ever made. I honestly don’t know where I would be without Jesus and everyone that He has put in my life. I am forever grateful for the Ranch and everyone in it.

JJ:

Losing my father in the 5th grade was the biggest wound I have ever been dealt. Despite the fact I hardly knew him outside of one visit along with some letters and phone calls. It cut so deep - deeper than any knife could. This wound was left unattended; it became infected with grief, anger and resentment. It burned with sorrow. I tried treating it with anything I could. Weed, pills, alcohol, antidepressants. Nothing helped. In fact, I felt worse each time I would slip into the oblivion of drugs or the numbing of pills. As I started to die, my relationships did as well. I started losing everything. I held on with the tightest grip I could, but it all slipped away.

I hid everything from my family, instead deciding to self-medicate. When the mask cracked and the secrets came to light, my mother found out everything - all my shame, self hatred and baggage. So the wound was opened even further. I resented her for that, acting out in anger. When my mother couldn’t handle it anymore, she sent me away. The wound hurt even more; abandonment festered within it.

Arriving at Christian Encounter, I didn’t believe or want what it offered. The promise of acceptance. The unconditional love. The path to healing. After all, why would I believe that God of all people could save me? The one person who could have prevented everything but still allowed it to happen, the perpetrator of my sorrow. He didn’t deserve my heart… This was my mindset for 16 years and changing it wasn’t a task that could be accomplished easily.

I would need someone who showed me that I was loved. Someone who wouldn’t quit. Someone who got nothing out of mentoring me. Someone who loved the Lord with all their heart. Someone who would give everything to advance the Kingdom. Someone who could help heal my wounds.

God didn’t decide to send one person. He sent an entire team. Interns. They showed me love when I did not deserve it. They stayed committed when it was incredibly difficult. They persevered until they had nothing left to give and even then they gave more.

So when I found Christ over Christmas break last year and started to accept His love and embrace His healing, I was met with love and an abundance of joy from the interns. I went from depressed, suicidal, hopeless, angry, and believing I was unlovable, to someone I can say I’m proud to be. Someone who’s decided to do something about all my pain and sorrow. And who will continue to walk with the one true God who offers everything I could ever need.